Insert Television Show, Take a DrinkPlayers: InfiniteBuzz Factor: 10Simplicity: 1

Today’s drinking game is less instructional and more of a do-it-yourself type thing. Now, I could make the joke about ‘doing it yourself,’ but we all know I’m much too classy to go down that road … Now, onto the booze!

Everyone has their favorite television shows. They come on every week to entertain thousands with their likeable characters, well crafted plots, humorous jokes, intense dramas or trashy romances.

I am here to take that enjoyment to the next level, using it to get wicked drunk. Within each of our favorite shows lies the not-so-hidden staple of repetition in mainstream television. Obviously, there is something you like about these shows, and since you enjoy this factor, the producers are going to do it over and over to keep you watching.

Since this happens all the time, it creates a perfect opportunity to drink, a lot. Whenever the repetition happens, take a drink of beer. If it’s a quick program, such as the 15-minute Adult Swim cartoons, you can always take shots of liquor to get the same effect.

Here are some examples of drinkable repetition you can use to get yourself started:

’24’ – Whenever Jack Bauer threatens to shoot someone.

‘Will & Grace’ – Whenever any character whines about love.

‘Project Runway’ – Whenever Santino is ridiculously mean for no reason.

‘The Simpsons’ – Whenever the writers try to be funny, and then fail to do so. You should then drunkenly talk about how much better the show was in ‘the old days.’

‘Emeril Live’ – Whenever the famous cook talks about spices. Take two drinks when he says ‘BAM!’

‘Lost’ – Whenever Jack fixes someone’s amazing medical malady.

‘The Boondocks’ – Whenever a 9-year-old makes some sort of social commentary.

‘Arrested Development’ – Drink like crazy when they cancel the show. Only that will dull the pain.

Add in your own and prepare to thoroughly enjoy your regularly scheduled program. Remembering what happened the day after will be a different story altogether.

Published on February 2, 2006 at 12:00 pm