Syracuse University, there is nothing to be done about this zombie infestation that plagues us all. There are body parts everywhere, half-eaten brains cover the floor and the stench has become absolutely unbearable.

Luckily a hero was finally called into town to take care of the problem. And that he did, the only way he knows how: with a blunt chainsaw and a sharp wit.

Bruce Campbell, legendary B-movie star and New York Times best-selling author, spoke at the Palace Theatre yesterday to promote the paperback release of his book, ‘Make Love* The Bruce Campbell Way,’ as well as to introduce a screening of two of his films, ‘Army of Darkness’ and ‘Evil Dead’.

Talking to a packed theatre, he listed everything from his favorite horror films to how he met his wife to the popularity of his most famous character Ashley ‘Ash’ Williams from ‘The Evil Dead’ trilogy.

‘Ash is the only good guy in the entire horror series,’ Campbell said to an audience who cheered every time the character’s name was mentioned. ‘He’s a dumbbell, but he’s your dumbbell.’

Throughout the Q&A, Campbell answered everything thrown at him with a blend of humor, sarcasm and insults. He warned lovers of ‘Evil Dead’ to not look for the cabin the movie was filmed in because it’s private property and ‘you are going to get shot in the ass.’ He explained how ‘Bridge on the River Kwai’ is the best film ever made and how William Holden could kick Ben Affleck’s ass anytime. Campbell also refused to say the three magic words from ‘Army,’ as he pointed to the giant movie screen behind him and exclaimed, ‘What, I’ll do it better than he will?’

Campbell also answered some vital questions everyone was clamoring for: Would he be in the next ‘Spiderman’ film, as he had a small cameo in the last two? (Yes, and he actually helps the superhero out this time.) Is there going to be a sequel to the cult hit ‘Buba Ho-Tep?’ (Again, yes, it’s called ‘Bubba Nosferatu’ and it will be both a prequel and a sequel.) And would he be in the rumored ‘Evil Dead’ remake? (No way in hell. ‘Leave that to some other 21-year-old and cover him in blood,’ Campbell said.)

‘He answered a lot of the questions real well without trying to make himself an idealized version of his Ash character,’ said Courtney Wise, of Syracuse, 23. ‘I love B-Horror movies that make fun of themselves, and he’s always really good at making fun of the characters he does.’

Once he finished taking questions, Bruce sat down to do autographs. To get him to sign something, one had to have a copy of ‘Make Love.’ But this earned an autograph of the book, an autograph of whatever other memorabilia was brought and a picture with the man himself. Whatever banter happened to be struck up during this period was an added bonus.

‘Everyone seems to be having a good time with him,’ said Ron Bonk, event organizer and owner of Alternative Movies and Events. ‘He’s a character up on stage. He has so many great lines, so many great comments and comebacks to people. And everyone is getting a little mini-version of that when they come to meet him.’

The autograph session went on for over five hours, and continued on in the lobby of the theater as the films began. But Campbell did take a break to speak a little about ‘Army’ before it was shown to the eager crowd. He explained about how he liked the original depressing ending better than the ‘bogus studio happy one.’ Campbell also vented a little frustration about the ratings film receives today, as ‘Army’ was given an NC-17 when it was first shown to the Motion Picture Association of America.

‘Violence is violence is violence,’ Campbell said. ‘We’re so twisted in this country. You can shoot a tit but you can’t kiss it!’

No matter how interested the crowd was during the questions, being fueled by Campbell’s outbursts, nothing beat the reactions during the film screenings. The audience cheered at the famous lines, applauded at the death of the bad guy and gave a standing ovation during the credits. Even brief technical difficulties which briefly shut down the showing of ‘Army’ couldn’t simmer them down, or make them less in awe of everything Campbell has accomplished and stands for in today’s society.

‘Even though Bruce Campbell has just been a few horror movies and a few random cameos, he’s almost become a cult classic culture icon of the B-Movie,’ said Brian Kelly, 24, of Cazenovia. ‘I think that to be in the presence of such a man, who represents such an amazing thing, such a cornerstone of American culture, is quite inspirational.’

The whole event essentially captured the feeling of the perfect B-movie. The acting was loud and over-the-top, the audience was unwashed and full of life and cheesy words of advice were dispensed as it came to a close.

‘Spend your money wisely,’ Campbell said to a crowd of near-broke college students and film lovers. ‘And thank you for spending it on alternative cinema. That way I can pay my mortgage.’

Published on September 6, 2006 at 12:00 pm